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Japanese samurai used to contemplate death. This was not some morbid fixation. Admitting their own mortality forced the warriors to accept that life is a precious and fleeting gift. They regarded the cherry blossom as a symbol of this insight. Cherry blossoms bloom for a brief period and then fall at the very height of their beauty. To the samurai this was a melancholy reminder of death amidst life. It was an example of great beauty and sadness. This poignant insight into life and death allowed the samurai to live their lives more fully; they realised that death could come at any moment. Cherry blossoms were seen to possess natural beauty and grace. The word 'beauty' does not refer simply to the appearance of the flower; it captures the sense of dignity and strength contained within something so fragile and fleeting. 'Grace' is a word seldom considered in our times. It can mean a variety of things: compassion, kindness, goodwill, elegance and beauty of movement. For the samurai, grace meant rectitude. Rectitude can be defined as appropriate conduct; considering how your behaviour affects other people and seeking to do what is right. The cherry blossom is a reminder that our life will not last. In the face of death, is there any need for pettiness, argument, callousness and cruelty? If you accept death, does that change how you live? Nothing that we consider important will last - especially ourselves.

"How can life have meaning without death?
How can joy have meaning without sadness?"

Sakura is the Japanese word for cherry blossom and since I want to always remind myself to cherish life I chose 'BeautifulSakura' to be my username. I've been through alot in my life and until recently I was consumed by depression, anger, and guilt. One night... one moment changed everything. I realized then and there that life is too short to be so miserable. I refuse to live my life weighed down by sadness and regret. I refuse to let my life be ruined by an eating disorder. I no longer want to spend my time focusing on all that has been lost instead of being grateful for everything I have. This journal is a fresh start for me... a new beginning. Life is too short. I'm not going to take it for granted any longer.

This journal is where I store some of my thoughts, dreams, desires, and experiences. This is here for my benefit and really for mine alone. I write for an audience of one, me, although I may share it with you. It has not been sugar coated to make it more palatable. I don't censor my writing to appease others, which is why my journal is friends only. I've been through alot and I have alot of things I have to deal with. I'd rather not leave myself open for strangers to read my most personal thoughts and feelings.

I write in my journal quite frequently, but all of my posts are friends only. Not because I'm some horrible person or because I have alot to hide. I just value my privacy. If you are on my friends list, please remember that what's posted in this journal should be kept between you, me, and LJ. I don't have much to hide. In fact, I'm actually quite open and honest about myself, but there are more private details of myself and my life that I don't want just anyone reading... thats why its private.

I have opinions and feelings that are entirely my own. I have experiences that have led me to be the person I am. I have no regrets, nor will I appologize for being who I am. The road here was not an easy one and its taken alot of hard work for me to come this far. If you're on my friends list and there are certain types of posts you'd rather not read just leave me a message and if its something I can filter for you I'll try. If I think its an awsomely ridiculous request I'll tell you so.

If you'd like to be on my friends list you're more than welcome to add me and leave a comment. I'll check out your LJ and if I feel you're someone I'd like to get to know I'll happily add you back.

♥Jamie♥

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